my phone battery died faster than my dreams
In which Spiderman becomes the Internet.
"ew fast food, do you even know what they put in fast food-"
Had to be there, I guess.
I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”
dont forget the part where you pretend you’re having a really sad moment in the rain
And the period shower where you stand and watch the blood flowing down the drain as if you just got back from a war or brawl.
As a girl I can confirm that all of this happens.